


Darn Dang It! Yuuri!

by Inu_Sensei



Series: Darn Dang It! Yuuri! [1]
Category: Yuri!!! on Ice (Anime)
Genre: Alpha Victor Nikiforov, Alpha/Beta/Omega Dynamics, BL, Boys In Love, Comedy, Domestic Fluff, Fluff, Funny Names, M/M, Mates, Omega Katsuki Yuuri, Parody, Romantic Comedy, Social Media, live streaming, pig life
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-02-05
Updated: 2017-02-05
Packaged: 2018-09-22 06:12:48
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,732
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9587492
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Inu_Sensei/pseuds/Inu_Sensei
Summary: Yuuri? why is there skittles inside the toilet tank?





	

**Author's Note:**

> And this is the parody of page Cot Dammit! Elizabeth. I'm not sorry.

Title: Darn Dang It! Yuuri!  
Plot Writer: NerdyInuProductions  
Manga/Anime: Yuri!!! On Ice!  
Status: On Going

Disclaimer: I don't own this Anime, Manga and its characters, but I proudly own the Plot and the Story which I thought and loved to share, hope you give me some reviews and tell me what you think.  
Salamat!

A/N: This Fanfiction is a AU, which is an Omegaverse. Omega is the lowest of hierarchy but they are the rarest and prized, betas tend to want them. They can be pregnant by the Alpha, but sometimes a Beta. A Beta can be deemed as a normal human being (Alpha/Omega). While Alpha are the top of the hierarchy (note: they are dominant), they can get Omega as their mate, once they had formed a bond and marked the Omega as his, they can be possessive and jealous over their mate.

“Coach, can you teach me Quadruple Salchow?” asked by one of the new Junior skaters joining the Nationals.

“I’ll teach you that when you perfect your step sequence and jump spin, for now you need to focus on those” replied by the platinum haired coach.

“Vitenka?” as raven haired Japanese called.

“Yes, Dorogoy?” Viktor hummed as his stressed looking Omega wife. Both had been married for years already, they got married after Yuuri moved in to Russia, having a quick and grand wedding in Detroit they then permanently move in at St. Petersburg and took over Yakov and Lilia’s rink and studio after retiring a year ago.

Yuuri consecutively winning three times and now coaches ballet and skating taking over retired Lilia’s work, while Viktor turned in to a fulltime skating coach of the Juniors and Holding Mila, Georgi and Yuri as his students.

“Can you do me a favor?” he sighed.

“Anything, you know I love you right?” both conversing in Russian since Yuuri is fluent now.

“I need to diet I’ve been gaining weight even though I’m working out everyday, I need your help getting my mind out of food and help me work out even more” he sighed.

“Anything Love, it’s good you’re asking me this”

“Let’s start tomorrow morning alright?” kissing his Omega.

“Can you two please move your lovely dovely shit out of the rink? You’re making uncomfortable and distracting the Juniors!” Yuri yelled.

“Whatever son~” Viktor pissing him even more.

Following days later just like promised, Yuuri would be woken up by Viktor early for a jog and some other exercise he can do while on the road while Viktor rides their car and would yell supportive and funny things.

However Viktor had problems with Yuuri sneaking in food, he would constantly catch him eating inside the bathroom or sneak in some food at the rink.

“Dang darn it Yuuri, why is there a pack of skittles inside our toilet tank?” Viktor freaked out.

And, “Darn dang it Yuuri why is there a Katsudon inside the ventilation? No wonder it smells good” Viktor now has trouble keeping his Omega wife in line with the food addiction.

The next week “Wakey wakey sleeping beauty, babe? Wake up time to work out~” Viktor leaned in kissing Yuuri while holding his phone recording it live on their facebook page.

Yuuri groaning, “The sun isn’t up yet”

“An Early bird get the early worm, babe”

“I’m not a bird”

“You have a point, but still you need to be up and need to work out, you asked me to help you and as your loving husband I’ll be supportive so I’m annoying you now” Viktor started to tickle him.

“Alright! I’m up!” shirtless, bed hair plus reddish face equals cute in Viktor’s eyes.

Makkachin jumped on their bed and started attacking him with kisses, “And your jogging partner’s saying good morning too~” Viktor said.

“And good morning to my baby too~” Yuuri kisses the dog and squishing her face.

After Viktor ended the clip and let the likes and comment barrage with positive and complimentary notes.

While jogging Viktor rode their Honda City, Yuuri jogging with his usual Mizuno tracksuit and Makkachin behind him, “Run like someone is chasing you babe! Run for that hot body that you wanted back!” Viktor kept on recording live and driving.

“Run for all those Katsudon you want to devour!” Viktor cheered.

“For all those Katsudon!” Yuuri replied, “I’m working out for all that!! AAAAH” Yuuri played along when he took a turn on an alley and disappeared.

“Darn dang it Yuuri! You better not skip your work out!” Viktor jumped out his car and followed Yuuri only to lose him.

“Apparently I lost sight of flash and our furry baby” Viktor showed himself to the camera, “I’ll keep looking” he sighed and turned it off.

Reading Phichit’s comment, “Try looking around restaurants?”

Meanwhile Yuuri’s jumping on a chicken wire fence trying to sneak in a butcher’s place, letting the poor piglet inside the sack free and soothing it to calm down sing it was making a shrilling noise, “I’ll get you out!” Yuuri said and Jumped out the fence again, sadly Yuuri was caught by the butcher and chased him.

“Makkachin RUUN!” running for their dear life.

Viktor again started another live, “Aaaand it’s been ten minutes and I can't find him” he’s back in his car sighing.

Suddenly Yuuri appeared Panting and seemed to have a huge lump on his jacket.

“Where have you been Houdini?” Viktor asked pointing the camera at the accused person and there a small piglet head popped out his jacket, “Darn dang it! Yuuri? Where’d you get the piglet?”

“Somewhere…” he replied.

Suddenly the butcher appeared, “RUN!” and Yuuri started running trying to pull Viktor and calling Makkachin.

Viktor running and recording the whole thing, “I don’t know what you did but we’re talking later!” and the clip went off.

Arriving home Yuuri and Viktor settled things with that butcher, Viktor ended up buying the poor piglet that Yuuri refused to let go.

“Yuuri, I love you but why did you do that? You almost got chopped by that Beta butcher” Viktor fussed over Yuuri.

“But Katsudon was being kept inside the sack, and he’s too young to be butchered!” hugging the now cleaned piglet, fresh from bathing.

“Katsudon?” Viktor surprised at Yuuri.

“Yes, he’ll be Katsudon!”

“Are you gonna cook him?” Viktor looked at him with horror.

“NOOOO!” Yuuri covered the piglet’s ears.

“Katsudon is not food, Katsudon is my baby!” hugging the piglet.

“Oh…” Viktor looked guilty saying that and accusing his Omega.

“Well, welcome to the Nikiforov Family now Katsudon” Viktor petting the piglet, “And meet you big sister, Makkachin” carrying the big poodle on his arms.

“We need to get him some cute collars and mini sweaters, Russia is cold babe and we don’t want him getting sick” Viktor scratching the Piglet’s chin.

“Thank You Vitenka” Yuuri kissed Viktor, “For putting up with my food problems and running away from my work outs, and even stealing a pig” nuzzling their noses.

“Anything for you babe, but you know our page had been getting a lot of likers and followers, they think we’re a funny couple now” Viktor laughed, “They even liked my new tag ‘Darn dang it Yuuri’ they want me to make a shirt” he added.

“Why not make one?” Yuuri replied.

“Too late, someone sent us a shirt, I meant to give it to you earlier to wear it, but I guess you can wear it now for work, Mila and Georgi would laugh so hard, since they also followed our page” Viktor gave Yuuri a shirt ‘Chub Life’ 

“Do you have one?” Yuuri asked.

“Yes I do, and it’s ‘Darn dang it! Yuuri!’ I kind of like the cutlet bowl on it” he raised the shirt, “I’m wearing these~” he laughed.

“The others would be amused, and so as your students” Yuuri mused.

“Anyways, we need to take another live” Viktor took out his phone.

Viktor turning his phone live and streams it, he started with a sigh, “Apparently when Houdini here disappeared he didn’t run away this time, but instead he turned in to Robin Hood, jumped on a fence and stole this cute piggy from being made in to a fresh bacon” Yuuri covered Katsudon’s ears.

“Language, beefcakes, Katsudon is listening! And for the record, baby piggy was being kept inside the sack” Yuuri retorted.

“Riiiiight… well, Robin Hood rescued the cute piggy and after running for our lives being chased by a big man with a butcher’s knife, I decided to settle things and get the little piggy legally for my num bums. And now… we’d like for you guys to welcome our new Nikiforov family member Katsudon” Viktor scratch the piglet’s chin again and the piggy gave a pleased sound, Yuuri put him down and Makkachin started to lick him and welcomed him.

“Awww…” the couple awed, “Well, see you later! And our resident Katsudon a.k.a mama piggy and I loved the shirts by the way and we’re wearing them to work too~” after that they took a cute selfie and uploaded it. Arriving at the rink everyone burst at the shirt, while Yurio pointed ta the piglet with a horrified look while the others cooed.

Heading to the vet that afternoon, they discovered that Katsudon is a miniature pig and Yuuri and Viktor was happy to know, “I think this is why the Butcher wants to kill him since he would not go big like the usual others” Yuuri hugged the piglet tighter.

“Poor baby, but at least he want injured” Yuuri petted him.

Viktor took out his phone and started go live again and told them Katsudon is a mini pig which will not grow much taller than Yuuri’s knee and he’s a healthy baby pig around two months old.

The next day someone sent a cute shirt for Makkachin and a sweater and a full body collar for Katsudon, it was a cute blue lace.

Viktor took pictures of Makkachin wearing a shirt saying ‘Momma’s big ball of fluff’ and Katsudon wearing ‘I’m not made to be bacon’ with pink and baby blue patterns.

“I must say, Makkachin and Katsudon makes a good feet warmer, and I guess he’s helping you stay away from all the meat too~ though we need to lose the carbs baby” Viktor suggested.

Yuuri remained quiet.

~Part I END~


End file.
